Big Deal! - a cynical rant about the US campaign

Sometimes we forget how relaxing just expressing opinions can be. Just pure opinion without claims to scholarity or intelligence. Let the cynicism flow.

With the polls swinging wildly, watching the US presidential campaign approach its climax has become a chore rather than a pleasure for me. It is as if part of our own recent Gong Show factor seeped across the border and is now frustrating our southern neighbors.

This is why I have flatly decided to sit back, chill out, read the headlines, affix a "Whatever" stamp on most of it and expect to wake up on November 5th with some relief. There will be one name dominating the headlines and we'll all know what to expect one way or another. Obama's most radical proposals would probably be watered down in Congress, McCain will provide another four years of Republican oversight of a Democratic legislature. Big Deal!!!

In eight years at most history books with Obama's name will be collecting dust on library shelves, keeping the most obscure former presidents some company. One can rarely pull off an inferior appointment after being the Commander in Chief without having all their energy and enthusiasm dismissed as power nostalgia. The Senate wouldn't swallow his appointment to the Supreme Court, and as far as governors go he'd probably have a chance. Again, Big Deal!!!

John McCain may serve one term at most, crown Sarah Palin as heir and send her to electoral slaughter, maybe by Hillary Clinton herself. Instead of having eight years of Democrat insiders telling an inept Obama what to do, we would find ourselves with Bill Clinton back in the White House and Hillary at the helm. A President with cojones, not bad as a prospect.

I'd love to see John McCain give pundits, media and the entire Obama-love-fest a gigantic finger. There's still a good chance it might happen: opinion polls don't speak, ballots do. If it doesn't? The world would be a little less how I want it to be. Business as usual.

November 4th isn't going to be the Second Coming. It's going to be another Tuesday, another day when we look forward to the weekend still lurking in the distance. An ordinary Tuesday on which, by the sheer luck of our present space-time conformation, a subset of the human population that doesn't include me gets to say who will run their country. It's their choice and I hope they choose responsibly. But no-one's going to die either way.

People in democracies have chosen bad leaders and good leaders with equal gusto. McCain might take the Bush stigma off the GOP, Obama might vaccinate the US against very liberal Democrats for a century, and either way a President will come, go and be replaced. If you're steering a ship the size of the USA, changing the captain for a little time won't alter the course significantly. What's four years compared to history?

When funds are tight, ask the Russians!

Sending letters soliciting donations is certainly a repetitive task. Checking the addresses may, however, avoid you some nasty mishaps. Thankfully this one is common to both parties, so it's more of a joke than anything else.

The McCain campaign sent a letter soliciting funds to the Russian envoy to the UN. Of course, this is immediately plastered across the media spectrum as if computer mistakes didn't occur. Barack Obama and Joe Biden, however, solicit funds from foreigners with equal gusto.

Oksana Polischuk, an ITAR-TASS correspondent in New York, received letters from Barack Obama, Michelle Obama and Joe Biden asking for funds. This, however, isn't as broadly reported, confined to russian-language media. Taking a computer mistake and blowing it into a big news story makes for a very boring news bulletin. Not reporting that the other side makes the same mistake justifies the "Obama media love-fest" stereotype.

Come on!

Election '08 report card: no A marks

An election is a cathartic experience. On election night most people are too exhausted to attack anyone any more. The leaders' speeches were fairly refreshing, kind of what politics should be about. I didn't blog much during the campaign because I thought it was mostly a gong show, as Right from Alberta pointed out at the very beginning.

A majority became impossible just a few weeks into the campaign. Despite the enthusiasm at rallies and the "steady as she goes" platform, I think we let certain weaker spots be monopolized in the debates and the media. We also delivered several policies wrong. Instead of balancing funding cuts with promotion of mecenatism we let the cuts rule the news. The Young Offenders amendment could have been delivered more diplomatically without the harsh language that lost us Quebec and potentially one of the most capable ministers in the outgoing government. I've seen a lot of pointed fingers, which almost completely hid the merits of every party's stances. If we were to write a report card, here's what it would look like for Headmaster Luca:

Liberals: The big survivor in this election. Between the Tory hammer pounding mercilessly and the hard anvil of Greens and NDP the party still managed not to go into complete disarray. Dion deserves credit for not breaking down in tears by the end of the campaign. Seeing Dion being pounded by Layton, someone close to me remarked: "He's so cute!" That's the main trouble with Dion - his cuteness. As a prof and as a scholar he is probably a star, in the world of politics he is a lamb sent to the slaughter. The Liberal Party needs to go on a fundraising spree if it wants to survive until the next election.

Tories: The ones who blew it. With the polls in majority territory they allowed themselves to be bogged down in minor matters. They need to re-evaluate their campaign milestones and their timing, and a trip to 30 Millbank, London UK may be in order. Definitely the party with the most impressive quantity of tangible electoral assets. Rarely can one blow a campaign and stay in government. We need to wake up to the fact, however, that people hate being taken for granted, and that's probably what killed us in Edmonton-Strathcona.

Bloc: Consistent with their record, the Bloc is biting, ready to fight with a frighteningly solid electoral basis. Considering their origin I am not surprised the major parties have a hard time beating them. Nevertheless they are the force to be reckoned with in Quebec. Their campaign, however, could have been much better, pointing more to their own stances rather than the need to not vote for a particular national party. Duceppe can teach the other leaders a few lessons in campaigning, debating and communications: his straight talk and granitic stubbornness give him a granitic base in his home province.

NDP: Great campaign, but drop the childish rhetoric. Seriously, the words "corporation", "big oil" and "Bush" aren't good premises for winning an election. And for the record corporations bring jobs, Big Oil is propping up Canada's economy and helping us avoid a major economic meltdown, while G.W. Bush kicked Taliban butts and hangs a Damocles sword above North Korea. Jack Layton holds no Gospel and the NDP has no monopoly over truth, morality or care. If Layton keeps up the efforts he may well overtake the Liberals very soon.

Greens: You are kidding, right?

One last thought for Newfoundland and Labrador. I've seen much N.L.-bashing in the Toriosphere, and I believe it is unfair. Newfoundlanders misplaced their trust and got kicked out of a Tory government in Ottawa. A more dramatic reality eluded many minds though. The election of October 14th showed that Newfoundland and Labrador is hardly essential for a majority government. Newfoundlanders may have paid back the Harper Government for equalization, but at the price of manifest irrelevance. THAT, my friends, is sad.